Lacey Amanda Jones wakes up from a two-month-long coma to find she has lost the last two years of her memories. She can’t remember the accident that caused her memory loss. She doesn’t remember the handsome football player who is supposed to be her boyfriend. She doesn’t remember the two girls who claim to be her best friends. She doesn’t remember the even more handsome guy who she seems to like even better than the supposed boyfriend. And she doesn’t even remember herself.
Apparently, during the two years she couldn’t remember, she somehow changed from a normal human being to an amazingly beautiful first-class bitch. And now she doesn’t much like the person she became.
Her doctor suggests that her family can help her recover her memories, but her parents are no help at all. In fact, during the time she remains in the hospital they barely visit her at all, although they have apparently practically lived there while she was in the coma. And Lacey doesn’t do much to help herself recover her memories. She feels she can’t trust her friends to know that she doesn’t remember everything, so she does her best to hide the fact from them. The boyfriend, in particular, seems anxious that she should not remember anything, particularly about the accident that caused her coma.
What if they had some secrets I was supposed to know? There was no way I could tell them about my memory loss for now. I had to figure it out first. And if that wasn’t possible, then we would resolve to the truth. But only then.
Ruben, Emily. I Was a Bitch: A Mystery Romance Book (Kindle Locations 490-491). Inkitt. Kindle Edition.
The only people who are the least help are Lacey’s brother James and Finn, the sexy guy who is not her boyfriend. She does trust James enough to ask about the past two years, and he tells her their parents have been separated for about that long. Finn lets her borrow his computer to spy on the person she has become and also does some investigating on his own. Her parents’ separation seems to have somehow fueled her transformation into a popular bitch, but Lacey has a much harder time trying to figure out why she is more attracted to Finn than to her supposed boyfriend. And once she begins to remember bits of her past, she also has trouble trying to understand why he is her boyfriend in the first place.
The story is engaging and keeps your attention all the way through. However, there are some elements that are a little far-fetched. Like how Lacey manages to not only graduate from high school but even gets the scholarship that she thought she needed to sleep her way to merely by dint of hard work. She somehow makes up for not only two months in a coma and about another month of not doing much except hanging out with Finn but also at least several months before that of mostly drinking and hard partying even before the accident.
“Okay.” He seemed a little disappointed but quickly covered it up with one of his dimpled smiles that awoke the butterflies or birds or whatever—let’s say flying monkeys—that were in my stomach.
Ruben, Emily. I Was a Bitch: A Mystery Romance Book (Kindle Locations 1236-1237). Inkitt. Kindle Edition.
There are some major stylistic nuisances, however. Lacey can’t manage to lay eyes on either Finn or Derek (the boyfriend) without remarking again how hot and good-looking they are. And her repeated references to monkeys in her stomach that act up every time she sees Finn (as in every time she so much as glances over at him again) are cute at first, but after thirty chapters they start to get a little old. The same with the full-body blushes at his every utterance. If some of these references were trimmed down, the book could probably be 25% shorter.
I would have thought I’d be used to seeing my hot boyfriend but no, the monkeys were as excited as the first time I’d seen him.
Ruben, Emily. I Was a Bitch: A Mystery Romance Book (Kindle Location 7869). Inkitt. Kindle Edition.
Cover image from Goodreads.
Title: I Was a Bitch
Author: Emily Ruben
Format: Kindle edition
Genre: Teens & Young Adult/Literature & Fiction/Social and Family Issues